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Dealing with Grief and Broken Hearts - Norrington vs Davy Jones

>
> You people are too much!!!
>
> I'm trying to internalize by grief here.
>
> It's just whenever I do I get an email like this and I
> feel like laughing. Anobers?!?!
>
> Everytime gusto ko mag internalize--ayan nandiyan si
> Chiqui, may surprise, or Gabe will have something
> bastews about a vegetable and then...Tom or someone
> will send Johnny Depp pictures. Or sasayaw si
> Hank...in which case I have to run and get the Holy
> Water or papaya extract.
>
> hello ML, oy, bihis kayo sa 27 ha???
>
> Karengkeng
>

Hi Capt.K,

I suppose we all deal with grief in different ways... I'm going from 4
years that could have been five, that could have been forever, to "I
really love this guy, Tommy, I'm getting married next year and no you
have no right to be mad that I didn't tell you." Yes that was meant to
be said with bitterness in my heart and sweetness in her voice.

Still, I think that if I let myself yield to that grief... it will be
horrible. I kid you not when I say that I stopped listening to Josh
Groban (her favorite) singing Broken Vow because if I had listened to
another note I'd throw myself from the window of my 20th floor office.
Or perhaps I'd just cut out my thump-thump and hide it in one of our
7,107 islands.

And grow tentacles.

I was talking with some of the crew these past two weeks and I can't
help but think that since White Cross... things have just gotten,
well, for want of a better POTC term, TENTACLEY. And I mean that in
the bad-ass Davy Jones "Do you fear death", "Life is CRUEL, why should
the afterlife be any DIFFERENT" throat slitting "There are no
survivors", "When we could have been together again... YOU WEREN'T
THERE!" way.

I seem to be making it a habit of watching the POTC trilogy every
weekend while working on the costumes. And I do Norrington and Davy
Jones. And there are times it hurts so much.

COTBP: "So this is where your heart truly lies..."
Almost anything with Davy Jones releasing his angst.
Norrie's death scene... there are times I feel it so much I almost
cry... not that Norrie dies, but that he has finally become a whole
man, he has finally got in touch with himself and now is willing to
let go of Elizabeth even at cost to himself.

"Our paths have been entwined Sherry... but never joined."

"Go now..." It's then that I almost break. And when he shoots the rope.

Of course, I don't get stabbed by Bootstrap Bill. Death is easy. Life
isn't. I have to go on each day. It's harder than dying. It's
mustering the courage to smile each day and go on. I can imagine that
Norrington had a lot of practice with that since letting Liz go at the
end of COTBP. You can sense his sarcastic bitterness just below the
surface... "There's a time when I'd have given anything to see you
looking like that while thinking about me."

I'm still getting to the place when I can say to my ex's
fiance/husband, "This is a beautiful pair of braces (he's an
orthodontist apparently). I would expect that the maker of this would
show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life."

My point is, I'm taking Norrington's way out. It's a conscious choice.
It's a difficult choice. It's a damn painful choice. But his choice is
LIVING, going on, making mistakes but somehow with the hope that he'll
get it right.

The alternative to that is growing Tentacles. And though I'm working
on Davy's costume, I'm not going to give into that temptation to tear
my heart out and lock it away... lest I, as Jack said, "Lose it forever".

By the way... I saw your pic page on Multiply... I hope that THIS
(above) has helped even a little bit too - along with the Johnny Depp's!

Best wishes,
James NorringTom
Commodore RN, BPP, EITC